Key Points:
- Many behaviors in children with autism are a form of communication, even when words are missing or limited.
- Understanding behavioral communication means interpreting what the behavior is telling you about needs, emotions, or environment.
- Responding effectively involves observing patterns, teaching alternative communication, and using ABA-based strategies to support meaningful expression.
Every parent or caregiver of a child with autism has asked: Why is my child doing that behavior? Whether it’s a meltdown, hitting, eloping, or simply shutting down, a child’s behavior often has a message behind it. Recognizing that a behavior may be trying to communicate something meaningful opens up possibilities for greater understanding, support, and connection.
In this article, we’ll explore how to view behavior as a form of communication, how behavioral communication shows up in children with autism, and how you can respond in ways that build skills and reduce frustration. If you’ve asked yourself, “Is communication a behavior?” or “Is all behavior communication?” this is for you. Let’s get into it.
Understanding Behavior as Communication
The phrase “behavior is a form of communication” captures an important truth: children who find verbal expression challenging often use behavior to send a message. But it’s important to clarify what this means in practice.
What we mean by behavioral communication
Behavioral communication means that instead of words, a child may use an action, gesture, or reaction to express a need, feeling, or reaction to the environment. For example:
- A child pushes away a toy and cries. They may be telling you: “I am done” or “That toy is frustrating me.”
- A child runs out of the classroom. They may be telling you: “I need a break” or “This setting is too much.”
- A child repeatedly taps or flaps hands. They may be self-regulating or indicating sensory overload, or they may be communicating excitement or stress.
Recognizing that “behavioral communication” exists helps shift from “What’s wrong with this behavior?” to “What is this behavior trying to tell me?”
Why children with autism may rely more on behavior to communicate
Children on the autism spectrum often have differences in speech, non-verbal communication, joint attention, or meaning making. For example:
- One study found children with autism used significantly fewer communicative gestures and fewer acts of joint attention by 18-24 months compared with typical development.
- Lower expressive language ability has been linked to increased behaviors of concern (self-injury, aggression) in children with autism.
Because verbal or nonverbal communication may be more challenging, behavior sometimes becomes the more available channel. But the key is: not every behavior is communication in the sense of a deliberate message. Still, every behavior gives you information.
Is all behavior communication?
Short answer: No, but much of the behavior you will see does convey something meaningful about your child’s experience. As one specialist noted:
“All autistic behavior is not communication.” (Psychology Today)
For example, some behaviors may be automatic (sensory self-stimulation), not directed at others. Others may be responses to internal medical or neurological factors. The distinction: when you ask, “Is communication a behavior?” the answer is yes, communication can be behavior, but not all behavior is intentional communication.
So when you see a behavior, ask: Is my child trying to tell me something? If yes, what? If not, is the behavior related to sensory, medical, or regulatory needs? That mindset will help you respond more thoughtfully.
Common Messages Behind Behavior and How to Respond
When you view behavior as communication, you begin to interpret what the child might be saying. Below are common “messages” behind challenging behavior and practical responses grounded in ABA (applied behavior analysis) thinking of understanding function.
Message 1: “I don’t understand what is being asked of me.”
Often, children with autism may comply with tasks when demands are clear, but when expectations are ambiguous, they may resist, shut down, or act out. The behavior essentially communicates confusion or overload.
What you can do:
- Use visual cues, schedules, or simple one-step instructions.
- Pre-teach what the activity will be, show visuals of the steps, then revisit.
Before beginning, ask: “Do you know what we’re going to do next?” and use visuals that remind your child. - Reinforce attempts: “Thank you for staying with me while I explained. Now we do Step 1 together.”
Message 2: “I need something else – a break, help, or a change.”
When a child elopes, screams, or shuts down, often the message is “This isn’t working for me” rather than simply “I’m bad.”
What you can do:
- View the behavior with curiosity: “Is my child escaping something (a task), seeking something (attention or access), or self-regulating (sensory, anxiety)?”
- Use a functional behavior assessment (FBA) framework: What triggers the behavior? What happens after?
- Provide an alternative: “If you feel you need a break, you can tap the card / ask for help / go to your calm down spot.” Teach and practice this alternative response.
Message 3: “I can’t express how I feel or what I need.”
When children hit, bite, or lash out, often the root cause is frustration, anxiety, or sensory dysregulation. In other words, a raw emotion that they cannot express verbally is being expressed behaviorally.
What you can do:
- Label feelings consistently: “It looks like you’re angry / upset / scared.” This helps build emotional vocabulary.
- Teach a functional communication response: pick from PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System), sign, or simple words.
- Use calming tools and environmental supports (sensory breaks, quiet zone, fidget). • Practice during calm times so that skills generalize when upset.
Message 4: “I’m reacting to my sensory or emotional state.”
Sometimes behaviors stem from internal states (sensory overload, pain, lack of sleep, anxiety). The behavior tells you: “Something inside me feels off.”
What you can do:
- Observe patterns: Do behaviors happen at certain times (loud environment, transition periods, after certain foods)?
- Keep a behavior journal: Trigger → Behavior → Response → Outcome. Patterns reveal themselves.
- Make sensory supports part of the routine: Have designated quiet spots, noise-reducing headphones, and movement breaks.
- Before problem behaviors escalate, proactively offer a break or an alternative: “We’re going to the calm zone now.”
Message 5: “I’m practicing a skill I saw, or I want attention/interaction.”
Some behavior may communicate a learned response (even if undesirable) because it worked previously (attention, escape, access). This connects directly to how behavior and communication intertwine in ABA: behaviors serve functions.
What you can do:
- Ask: What is the function of this behavior? Attention? Access? Escape? Self-stimulation?
- Once identified, teach a replacement behavior that serves the same function but is acceptable (e.g., asking for help instead of shouting).
- Reinforce the alternative consistently. Make the unwanted behavior less effective by not reinforcing it (when safe and feasible).
- Celebrate successes: “You asked for the toy instead of grabbing it. Good job.”
How to Respond: Practical Steps for Parents and Caregivers
Responding well to behavioral communication means combining observation, strategy teaching, and collaboration. Here’s a practical roadmap you can follow.
Step 1: Observe with purpose
- Keep a log for one week of a specific behavior: note time, what led up to it (trigger), what exactly happened, how long it lasted, and what happened after.
- Look for patterns: same time of day? Same activity? Same people? Sensory conditions (noise, crowd)?
- Ask: Is this behavior communicating a need? a feeling? a skill gap?
Step 2: Identify the function and message
- Based on the patterns, hypothesize: Is the child trying to get attention? Escape something? Self-regulate?
- Remember: Communication can be a behavior; function matters.
- Don’t assume: Check if the behavior might be sensory or medical rather than communicative.
- Use the five messages above as guides.
Step 3: Teach and reinforce alternative communication
- Pick a replacement behavior or communication tool: picture card, sign, a phrase, gesture.
- Practice during calm times: teach like any new skill – model, prompt, fade.
- Reinforce immediately when the child uses the alternative. The more meaningful the reinforcement, the more likely it will be chosen over the old behavior.
Step 4: Adjust environment and routines
- Use structured schedules, visual supports, and consistent transitions to reduce confusion and demand.
- Build in breaks, sensory supports, quiet zones.
- Prepare for changes: teach the child how to ask for help / a break before changes happen.
- Align with your child’s strengths and preferences using interest-based supports can increase motivation.
Step 5: Collaborate and communicate
- Share your observations and strategies with teachers, therapists, or caregivers so supports are consistent across settings.
- Involve your child in brief reflections: “What helped me when I felt upset? Which tool will I use next time?”
- Update your plan: If behavior changes, revisit observation logs, adjust supports, and teach new skills.
Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Understanding behavioral communication is one thing; implementing effective responses is another. Here are common pitfalls and how to prevent them.
- Ignoring the message behind the behavior: If you only focus on stopping the behavior without asking what it tells you, you’ll likely see it resurface or change shape.
Avoidance strategy: Ask why before what to do. - Reinforcing the wrong behavior inadvertently: Sometimes, even negative attention keeps a behavior in place.
Fix: When safe, redirect attention to the alternative communication you’re teaching rather than dwelling on the problem behavior. - Expecting immediate change without teaching alternatives: Behavior doesn’t shift simply because we want it to. Skills need instruction.
Solution: Set aside time for teaching the alternative, modelling, prompting, and reinforcing. - Inconsistency across settings: If the child sees one strategy at home and a different one at school, confusion arises.
Action: Create a shared behavior plan or tool set among all environments. - Skipping the sensory or medical check: Some behaviors may reflect pain, discomfort, or sensory overload, not just communication.
Tip: If a previously effective strategy suddenly stops working, check for changes in health, sleep, diet, and sensory conditions.
Why ABA Emotions and Communication Matter in This Context
When we talk about ABA emotions, we mean integrating emotional education and response within applied behavior analysis practices. We often ask: “Is communication a behavior?” Yes, and in ABA terms, communication can be taught, reinforced, and generalized much like any adaptive behavior.
By viewing behavior as communication, you align with the foundational ABA idea: behaviors serve functions and those functions are predictable. When you intervene by teaching functional communication, you not only reduce challenging behavior but you give the child a voice. That progress is emotional as well as behavioral — they feel less frustrated, more understood, more connected.
Using behaviour as communication and teaching a replacement when needed helps with emotional regulation. The child learns: I can ask for a break, I can ask for help, I can tell you my feeling. You respond. That is the heart of both behavioral communication and ABA-informed emotional skills.
Creating a Culture of Support at Home
Your home environment plays a huge role in how your child uses communication and behavior. Here’s how to build a supportive culture:
- Make visuals part of everyday life: schedules, emotion charts, “help” cards.
- Make calm zones accessible: a quiet corner, sensory item, choice of activity ahead of transition.
- Practice alternatives during play and calm times. Don’t wait for crisis.
- Use consistent language across caregivers: “If you need a break, use your card or ask me.”
- Monitor progress and celebrate: “Today you used your sign to tell me you needed help. That worked great.”
- Encourage communication across environments: when out, refer back to the same tools you use at home.
A Changed Perspective for the Parent
When you shift your mindset from “How do I stop this behavior?” to “What is this behavior telling me?”, doors open. You become a detective, coach, and partner in your child’s communication journey.
You’ll notice fewer surprises and more opportunities to intervene early. You’ll build your child’s communication toolkit, reduce frustration, and deepen your connection.
Over time, you’ll see that behavior isn’t just something to manage. It is a signal. And when you listen, respond, and teach, you help the child speak – even if words are missing – through actions, reactions, and eventual choices.
Pulling It All Together
Your child’s behavior may be speaking in a language without words. They may be telling you: I’m upset, I don’t understand, I need help, I need to escape, I’m overwhelmed, I’m excited — or simply I can’t yet say what I feel. By recognizing behavioral communication, responding with ABA-based teaching, adjusting to environment, and collaborating consistently, you give your child better ways to tell you what’s inside.
You might ask: “Is all behavior communication?” Not exactly. But most of the disruptive or confusing behaviors we see are telling us something. When we learn to listen, decode, and teach alternatives, we reduce those behaviors and increase meaningful communication.
If you’re ready to take the next step in interpreting your child’s behavior and building effective alternate communication strategies, the team at Bright Life ABA offers ABA therapy services in Indiana and Maryland.
Our approach at Bright Life ABA prioritizes understanding the messages behind behavior, teaching functional communication skills, and supporting emotional self-regulation through evidence-based ABA therapy + communication frameworks.
Contact us to explore how we can partner with you and your family to build stronger communication, fewer meltdowns, and a more empowered child.